Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I don't know! And thats my final answer....for now!







It is 10pm and I am in bed. I did attempt to go to sleep but to no avail! So here I am about to get some things off my chest, they weigh so much sometimes it feels like I cant take a breath. I am having one of those days where I don't know where I am headed, if anywhere.



Today one of my staff told me a story about one of the children that we minister to. His name is Bheki and he is 10 years old (this is him on the right) A couple of months ago he was playing in his house with a friend when they found a gun. They took it out of the place where it has hidden and started playing with it. Bheki's father is a police officer and had bought the gun home, had hidden it and then forgotten to take it into work with him the following day. As they were playing Bheki accidentally shot his friend. His friend was killed instantly.
I found out today that last night Bheki's father was on the way home from work when a truck hit him and killed him. When my staff member went to Bheki's house to visit his only question was "WHY?" she didn't know what to say to him and so came to me and asked the same question..."WHY?". What did i say?........My answer was "I don't know."

I don't know why these two tragic things happened to this sweet little boy. I don't know why God let this happen,

I don't know why God let this happen to Bheki, I dont know why God let the world Trade Centre get hit when the mom of one of the teenage girls that I was mentoring was inside, I don't know.
I don't know why Mo, Sne, Samkeliswe, Ellen, Dion and millions of other innocent children have to be infected with HIV/AIDS, I don't know. I don't know why we have an orphan crisis here in South Africa and I really don't know why the rest of the world seems to know NOTHING about it.
I don't have the answers to these questions......I guess I'm not qualified for this job! In fact I really am qualified...... because I am CALLED! More than years at University or Bible collage, more than years of experience, more than anything.....HE WHO CALLS QUALIFIES!
And so this Thanksgiving this is what I am thankful for, that HE has called me and qualified me and equips me. Even when I feel like I want a '"normal" live, which I did today, I am thankful that this is the life that HE created me for.






88 comments:

Chatty Kelly said...

I am sorry you are struggling with this. Tough Tough questions! I find reading Job helps. (specifically chapters 38-42) Who are we to ask we? Did we lay the earths foundations, did we limit the sea, did we hang the stars? Only God knows the answers to any of these questions. But he does know, and there is peace in that.

May you have some peace too.

Cristy said...

Wow! What a tragic situation for that sweet little boy..
Though we may never know they "whys", my confidence is the the Judge of all the earth does right. His ways are perfect and all together for my good, even though at times they are horrendously painful.

I will be praying for you, your ministry, and for that sweet boy..

Vashti said...

Hey guys, thanks for the encouragment! I know the He is in control....I think if I didnt know then I would have left SOuth Africa a long time ago! Haha! I love the book of Job, thanks Kelly for encouraging me to read it again. Puts everything into perspective!
You guys are awesome, thanks so much
V xx

Edie said...

You have a wonderful calling Vashti. I am so sorry for all of the tragedy you see but I have no doubt that you bring much comfort to those lives that you touch.

Growing in Faith is learning to Trust Him even when we don't know why.

Future Mama said...

It's amazing to find a blog with so much culture! I'm sooo sorry about that boy's father, how incredibly sad!!

You are doing great work, I love your spirit and faith!

Happy SITS day!! I'll be reading your other two posts in a few hours when I wake up! :)

Barb said...

Everything that happens in life has a reason. Sadly, the reason is often not for us to find out in this lifetime. Many things just require faith. Bheti will be in my thoughts

Sonja, Queen of Crafts said...

I have goosepimples reading about these tragedies. Why - the big question with no answer. I am glad that there are people like you who are trying to help these children.
Happy SITS-day!

Doodles said...

I am feeling very blessed to be up so early and to have had the ability to read your words. Thank you for all you do. God BLESS YOU

happy sits day too

kiwimeg said...

What terrible stuff for a kid to have to deal with at only 10 years old. Its so hard to find any meaning in such tragedy.

Your blog is just beautiful. You are doing great work!

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

Tragedy is part of this life but thank God it is short compared to eternity which will have no more pain or suffering if we put our trust in Jesus! God bless you in the difficult work you have been called to do!

Happy SITS day!

San said...

Wow... what a great entry. I am blessed by your point of view and way of writing!

Fruitful Vine2 said...

That is so sad - about Bheki I mean. What can you say to a young boy at a time like this. I cannot even begin to imagine his pain. I can only pray that he trusts the Lord and lets healing take place in God's presence.

mommytoalot said...

Wow..very heartbreaking. Why is a difficult question sometimes. Your faith..it shinning through.

Yaya said...

This is so tragic. Why? is the only thing that comes to my mind too.

La Belle Mere UK said...

Wow what a tragic story. Poor kid. I wouldn't know what to say to that child either.

It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job simply by being there to help in the first place!! The rest of us are just going about our normal lives thinking about what WE are doing and where WE are going.... but you are doing something that makes a huge difference to others.

Great post.

LBM xxx

Jennifer Bowen said...

Truly a tragic story! One simple question, yet so difficult to answer at times.

TuTu's Bliss said...

My husband is struggling with this right now too. The only answer I have for him is that we are always where we need to be even if it isn't where we want to be. Hugs, Jen

Queenie Jeannie said...

I don't know either. Trust and faith......they are toughies!!!!

Jennifer Juniper said...

I think you were right to trust in the bigger picture that we don't understand right away.

Pam said...

What a horrible situation for Bheti, his family, and the family of the other little boy. I hope they have all found some semblance of serenity and peace. And truthfully, I do not believe that there ARE answers in these types of situations.

Christine said...

I don't know, either. I do know that it isn't up to us to know everything and when we accept that, it takes a heavy load off our shoulders. Some things just can't be answered.

{leah} said...

I think "I don't know" is the hardest answer, because really that's all there is.

You are doing a great job, Thanks you!
{happy SITS day}

Robin said...

God didn't let it happen......man did.
Unfortunately Bekhi isn't the only one in the world that has had such tragic happenings and will not be the last, for man refuses to learn from them.
:-(

Sandy said...

I'm guessing people have been asking that question since the beginning of civilization. The answer is there is no answer.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I think "I don't know" would have been my answer, too. So sad.

That One Mom said...

Wow. That poor boy. I hope that almost a year later has brought him a little understanding. If we only knew His purposes...

Stopping by from SITS.

Emalee said...

Sounds like you are doing some GREAT work. You are having to deal with alot more then people do in there lifetime. Hope you have a wonderful sits day!!

Allyson said...

wow, what a tragedy. i pray that boy finds strength to continue on.

Cheryl said...

Why indeed! I am always asking this myself.

Kimmy C said...

You are a brave, strong woman to handle these situations on a daily basis and to help guide these young souls through such a tumultuous life.

Em and Cammie said...

I beleive we all have asked Why and still don't get our answer. In my life I have learned instead to ask for comfort and peace and strength to go on. You are one amazing women and I love that you recognize that you are called!

AmericanTribal said...

So very sad. I feel awful for all the troubles in the world... those children are very lucky to have someone like you around.

www.americantribal.blogspot.com

Cairo Typ0 said...

Here from SITS... Why is something i asked myself a lot when we lived in kenya during the uprisings. Sometimes i think it might be better not to know - that way i'll keep asking questions...

Kelly said...

Heart wrenching! Praise God for His calling.

Angie's Spot said...

Thank you for some much needed perspective today. Clearly, you are exactly where you need to be, helping all of those around you with your very special gifts!

Sherri @ Luv a Bargain said...

"Why?" I have asked that many times in my life as well. I have tried to find comfort just knowing that HE has planned it. You are a gift:)

Two Normal Moms said...

Very moving. For different reasons, we've all had to ask "why?" and had now answer. Bless you for answering your call.

Enjoy your SITS Day!
***Ally

pk said...

What a wonderful calling and I have the greatest respect and admiration for you that you have accepted the calling! I've learned, too, that there are many things we're just not meant to understand, so we just have to trust. God bless you!

sweetjeanette said...

Stopping by from SITS.
Until meeting our new friends this past year who are missionaries on furlough from Namibia I must admit I was quite ignorant of their lives "over there". It's so easy for us in the United States, and elsewhere, to think traffic jams, missed appointments and missing that great sale are tragedies...thank you SO MUCH for your blog! I am humbled, and convicted.

sweetjeanette.blogspot.com

Andi said...

You cannot take the burdens of the whole world on your shoulder. What you are doing is helping one person at a time, like taking one step at a time. And for everyone who helps one person at a time it makes a tiny little dent in all the bad things in the world. You are called, and you are qualified simply because you care.

So happy for SITS to have discovered your blog.

Rook No. 17 said...

The world is a better place for having such selfless people as yourself. Questioning and feeling keep us real, and ultimately bring us closer to HIM. The children and people whos lives you touch are very lucky to have you. Bless you!

Jenn @ rookno17.blogspot.com

Smart Cents Mom said...

I think that it is wonderful that you have heard your calling. The children are lucky to have you in their lives. I hope that you continue your good work. Hopefully the world will take notice of the disadvantaged.

I am a new memn=ber at SITS. Enjoying your blog.

Lacie @ Creative Attempts said...

thank you for your inspiration. I always feel like I have seen and experienced so little in my life and have lived such a sheltered life. I applaud you and what you do!

Christina said...

Yesterday, I was asking questions similar to both your's and Bheki's. It is so hard to have no clear answer, but I applaud you for continuing your work even without them... that takes a lot of strength and faith.

Charlene said...

Greetings from SITS. It's a tough thing indeed... to not be able to take all the pain away. Yet, you have your strength and can inspire others which is a beautiful thing indeed.

Michelle said...

But you know what...he's called us ALL.

GO therefor INTO all the nations.

We just dont take it as seriously as you do. Shame on us.

Kim said...

@cheapchichome. I agree with Karen (way up there in the comments). We are here for such a short time... Trust in Christ is our only hope.

MamaOtwins+1 said...

I don't know is a valid answer, at least you're honest and able to work with him to get through this.
Praise for all the work that you do!

Marrdy said...

Those why's are always so dificult. We do need to trust in God and try to keep our faith. At times it's just pretty hard. Hang in there!

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

I often find myself asking the same "Why?" questions. It helps and comforts me to know that even if I do not have the answers, God does, and it is all part of his plan. I am impressed with your strong faith in the face of such a tough calling!

cat said...

I understand - often we ask why God let's these things happen. I feel a lot more comfortable after I have read The Shack, but yes, it will be an eternal question. Thanks for the work you do. God's love and light to you. And your kids are just beautiful.

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

Why? It seems like such a simple question but often has no answer. I admire you your strength and the ability to continue offering care when things must be so difficult at times.

teena said...

I pray that the Lord will continue to give you strength to face each challenging day. And may he continue to bless you & your family as you work in this ministry.

Kelly Deneen said...

What horrible tragedies to befall that boy. :( You are such an amazing person!!

drala625 said...

Visiting from SITS. We may never know why. We just keep believing.

Mammatalk said...

Much love and peace to you and little Bheki. Today, his story touches many....

Pricilla said...

Sometimes there are no immediate answers. I know, platitudes.

It is hard to write Happy SITS day on a post like this.

The world is so much a better place with women like you in it.

BlogBaby said...

Vashti,

This post makes me want to burst into tears, punch things, hug my children, volunteer for something worthwhile but most of all to DO SOMETHING. I don't know what. Anything, I guess.

I'm so thankful there are people like you who have answered the call of Jesus, some of us are still afraid to even answer the phone.

Blessings Sister,

Lisa (aka. BlogBaby's BabyMama)

barefacedapproach said...

This is a tear jerker! I feel that same way sometimes. "WHY?" I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Thank you for being one of those blessings in the lives of so many people.

Lindsay Rudolph said...

I think it is normal to ask "why". And you are right, we don't always have the answers. But we keep our faith, stay strong and continue to do what we do...because that is what we do know. You are in the right place...keep doing what you do. We are thankful for that.

Jennifer Haas said...

How so sad. I think all I could ask too was, WHY?

Brandi said...

It breaks my heart that there is so much tragedy and sadness in this world, but I'm so hopeful that there are people like you out there. We may never get an answer to why things happen, but we can find an answer to the question of how can I help. That's the most important thing.

Diana said...

:( Visiting you from SITS. I see this post was written last year. How is Bheki doing?

Hugs!

Mary said...

There is no answer except that we are living in a world where God's divine plans are intermixed into free will and man's ability to make choices - and sometimes not very good ones. We have to live not only with our own choices, but the choices of those around us as well.

Hope you have a great feature day with SITS.

Missy said...

Praise God that He calls people like you to do the difficult tasks that sometimes no one else wants to do.

Stopping in from SITS.

Amaris in Wonderland said...

I was just feeling this way yesterday, after reading what is going on - tragically - "in the name of God"... but is of the Enemy... (See yesterday's post: http://amarisinwonderland.blogspot.com/2009/10/something-must-be-done.html)

What brought me comfort was the version of Our God Reigns by Delirious? View on youtube (copy & paste in browser): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMLfcx9zN0c

Our God does reign, and is just. His plan outdoes/outlasts/out performs and defies anything that we think would be "best"...

Blessing for your tender heart, and praise to Him for you acting on it. [Doing, not just hearing. - James 1:22, James 2:15-17]

Creative Junkie said...

"Why?" is probably the hardest question to answer for anyone. I never have a good answer.

Rachel said...

How very sad. I look forward to the day when God will right all wrongs, when there will be justice and peace on earth again.

Have you ever read the book, "When God Weeps" by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steve Estes? It's an excellent book that digs into the answers to the popular question, "Why?"

I'm currently reading "If God Is Good: Faith in the Midst of Evil and Suffering" by Randy Alcorn. So far, it is excellent!

Kmama said...

wonderful post. And yes, it sounds like you are more than qualified.

Lady Lex said...

Your story is incredible and your heart must be heavy many times and a normal life would seem easier, but I admire you and I'm sure so many people do for taking on this battle. For being a support system for those who REALLY need it. You're doing something that most people, including myself, don't have the courage to do. You have dedicated yourself to others and that's brave and I pray for you to keep your strength and courage strong bc we need more people like you in the world spreading your love. Thank you not only for your constant giving but for your post that has helped me to take a minute and give thanks to God.

Yours Truly,
Lady Lex
ineedprettythings.com

Heather said...

I am amazed at your strength amid such trials and uncertainty. The Lord truly has blessed the world by giving us you.

shortmama said...

Why is definitely an appropriate question..

Jessica said...

I'm not sure how to respond to this since, of course, I don't have the answers either.

All I know is that asking WHY leads us to the next step, whatever it is. Seeking answers is how we grow and how we move on. I guess expecting them to come easily is our biggest mistake.

Kristin said...

I don't think I'll ever understand why tragic things happen. The only thing that gets me through is that He must have a plan. : )

Leigh said...

It sounds to me like you have a heart for these children and that is your calling for sure.

Stopping by from SITS.

Have a great day,
Leigh

Mama Kat said...

Unbelievable. That poor boy. Sometimes when we're in the middle of tragic things like this it takes years and years to learn anything from them. I'm hoping he will grow into an amazing young man, who takes what he has learned and does something positive with it. Poor baby.

Laura said...

I think we will always ask "why?" when something tragic happens, but God wants to have faith and trust in him (even though it is hard to do sometimes).

Rhonda said...

Oh, that is so sad. That poor little boy!

As for the orphan crisis, I think for the most part we do at least have a good idea about it. And to be honest, I know people who would quite happily do the Madonna/Angelina thing and adopt, however, the governments make it so hard by basically taxing these sweet little kids. Most of us just can't afford to help out. And that is just sad.

Just Playin' said...

I admire your courage and stamina to stick in and do the work you are called to do. You have quite a heart.
Sandra

Whimsical Creations said...

Just breaks my heart.

Why is such a good question.

Laurel said...

So hard. BLess you girl for being ... there.

Joy said...

Thank you for sharing this heartwrenching story. It really makes you think.

I have certainly had my own WHY???? moments as we all have had I'm sure. Then I have to just be quiet and know that I'm not going to get all the answers that I want.

Joy said...

p.s. whoops, I meant to also say congrats on your SITS feature day!

Melanie said...

So hard. I spent a couple weeks ministering in Kenya in August and I am still asking myself why. I can't imagine living there for 5 years. But as you said, you don't know...for now. God will reveal his purposes in time. We simply need to trust and wait. Sometimes easier to say than to do.

Zeemaid said...

congrats on your SITS feature day.

Thank you so much for letting us all in and sharing yourself with us. We all struggle with the whys, I think that's natural. The big thing is to keep on going despite the whys. :)

Hugs and blessings to you!

The Dapper Darling said...

That is a very sad story...hopefully that little boy will have all the support he needs during this time. He will need it.

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

I know I'm a few days late, but playing catch up from SITS. What a tragic story. I think I'd say the same thing -- I don't know. But what I do know, is that God has a plan for all of us. And we just have to trust in it. And the best part is He knows every single one of us - His children. He knows what we need & He won't give us anything we can't handle. Of course, that's easier to say than to live & understand. Anyway, thanks for sharing & hope your SITS day was a fun one.

La Jolla Mom said...

Stopping by from SITS. I am grateful for all that you do. Amazing.