It is 10pm and I am in bed. I did attempt to go to sleep but to no avail! So here I am about to get some things off my chest, they weigh so much sometimes it feels like I cant take a breath. I am having one of those days where I don't know where I am headed, if anywhere.
Today one of my staff told me a story about one of the children that we minister to. His name is Bheki and he is 10 years old (this is him on the right) A couple of months ago he was playing in his house with a friend when they found a gun. They took it out of the place where it has hidden and started playing with it. Bheki's father is a police officer and had bought the gun home, had hidden it and then forgotten to take it into work with him the following day. As they were playing Bheki accidentally shot his friend. His friend was killed instantly.
I found out today that last night Bheki's father was on the way home from work when a truck hit him and killed him. When my staff member went to Bheki's house to visit his only question was "WHY?" she didn't know what to say to him and so came to me and asked the same question..."WHY?". What did i say?........My answer was "I don't know."
I don't know why these two tragic things happened to this sweet little boy. I don't know why God let this happen,
I don't know why God let this happen to Bheki, I dont know why God let the world Trade Centre get hit when the mom of one of the teenage girls that I was mentoring was inside, I don't know.
I don't know why Mo, Sne, Samkeliswe, Ellen, Dion and millions of other innocent children have to be infected with HIV/AIDS, I don't know. I don't know why we have an orphan crisis here in South Africa and I really don't know why the rest of the world seems to know NOTHING about it.
I don't have the answers to these questions......I guess I'm not qualified for this job! In fact I really am qualified...... because I am CALLED! More than years at University or Bible collage, more than years of experience, more than anything.....HE WHO CALLS QUALIFIES!
And so this Thanksgiving this is what I am thankful for, that HE has called me and qualified me and equips me. Even when I feel like I want a '"normal" live, which I did today, I am thankful that this is the life that HE created me for.